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Conjugal Gist (5)



*5*           Why the failure in marriages? It is easily traced to two offences: unloving attitude (of the husband) and disobedience (on the part of the wife). A man cannot hide his money from his wife. Generosity marks the impresa of Jesus’ involvement with humanity. If you cannot put your life at peril for your wife’s sake, you cannot boast of your love for her. “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” [John 15:13]. Jesus also says in John 10:11, “I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep.” “The emphasis,” as JFB Commentary puts it, “lies not on ‘friends,’ but on ‘laying down his life’ for them; that is, ‘One can show no greater regard for those dear to him than to give his life for them, and this is the love ye shall find in Me.'”


Commit your life to her pleasure: that is what Jesus did. Have regard for your wife. Try not to forget that she is a weaker vessel. Give your wife things. Do things for her pleasure. She is not your slave or your servant just because you paid money called bride price to her parents. She has equal standing with you before Almighty God. What if she has wilfully decided to make things worse for you, her husband? Forgive her: for she knows not what she is doing. Jesus forgave those who despitefully used and consequently murdered Him! Take the disobedient matter to Jesus, the Head of your spousal designation.

 Church Service

             To the designated wife Jesus told, “Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you” [John 15:14]. Was it not to the disciples He made a solemn account of Matthew 16:18, “…..upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it”? We understand as well, that when “….but tarry ye in the city of Jerusalem, until ye be endued with power from on high” [Luke 24:49], came to its consummation it actually birthed God’s most guarded secret -the Church. The verb ‘command’ of John 15:14 is entellomai (en-tel’-lom-ahee) ‘to order, command to be done, enjoin.’ Listen, as a wife, to the man’s words. Just do them if you are a good representative of the Church. It will surprise many husbands to see themselves eternally under their earthly wives, in heaven, for having more crowns.


The LION of Judah and HIS Bride

One of the things your husband cannot do is the introduction of another deity worship. He cannot tell you not to go to Church. If he should tell you to act in a way that is antipodal to God’s express word, you have every right, before His Almightiness, to repudiate his instruction. He cannot tell you not to pray. He has no right to cheat on you by engaging in an illicit extramarital affairs. The Bible has a name for this act: adultery. It is idolatrous. For worshipping other gods God judged Israel in the Book of Jeremiah 3:6, The LORD said also unto me in the days of Josiah the king, Hast thou seen that which backsliding Israel hath done? she is gone up upon every high mountain and under every green tree, and there hath played the harlot.


Mary leaned on the dream of the Bridegroom

The word ‘backsliding’ is mshuwbah (mesh-oo-baw’) (or mshubah {mesh-oo-baw’}) meaning: ‘apostasy.’ Mshuwbah is a feminine noun: for every worshipper is a female before whom or what he or she bows in adoration. Zanah (zaw-naw’) is the active word for ‘played the harlot,’ meaning: ‘1. to commit adultery (usually of the female, and less often of simple fornication, rarely of involuntary ravishment) 2. (figuratively) to commit idolatry (the Jewish people being regarded as the spouse of Jehovah).’ To understand what went on under trees and on elevated places 2Kings 17:9-10 explains it. And the children of Israel did secretly those things that were not right against the LORD their God, and they built them high places in all their cities, from the tower of the watchmen to the fenced city.10 And they set them up images and groves in every high hill, and under every green tree:

The man has the dream, and not the woman of the conjugal gist. Know his dream. If the dream is beneath you or the type you cannot be bothered with, then, do something. Please, refuse the nuptial knots! Allow not your involvement in its being tied! Let the friendship suffice. No more! This is the reason why I have always told spinsters, “Do not marry a stupid person. He’ll only rule your life in an egregious stupidity!” There probably may not be a perfect man, but I can tell you, “There’re a lot of good, Mr. Right if you ask Jesus. Amen!”


You can be part of the conjugal gist by being born again. Say this prayer from your heart, believing every word. Dear heavenly Father, I come to You now in the name of Jesus Christ. I believe in my heart that Jesus is the Son of God. I believe in my heart that Jesus died for my sins and You raised Him from the dead. I confess with my mouth that Jesus is Lord, and I receive Him as my Lord and my Saviour. I give God all the glory, Amen. (…to be continued…)

Read part four here

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My name is H.O. Ojewale. I was born in 17th March, 1955, in the then Gold Coast, now Ghana, Greater Accra. My parents are Nigerians. I am married with three wonderful children.


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